Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2013 1:07:22 GMT
Critic was confused, an understatement to say the least. The virtual critic continued his review of recent, cutting edge game likely made by a huge company. Since the game was rather popular, it made it all the funnier to hear the Virtual Critic spilling nothing but hatred in such an animal like fashion, while still retaining a coolness that only a true performer could hope to retain.
"How can people like this game? I've seen better worlds made by the bacteria in my socks."
He went on and on, and Critic quickly stopped listening, hearing only shouting. This was what his cherished persona had come.
Suddenly, all eyes had turned to him, and everyone slowly became silent.
Critic looked around, then realised something.
"So, whats this about me being a fake?" Said the Virtual Critic, his calm demeanor immediately returning.
Critic looked around, and tried to form words. No one could see him emoting, however, as he had no facial features. He actually looked intimidating to the masses, based on how they looked at him, as though he was an alien race intruding upon their harmless fun.
It was then Critic realised that, out of the blue, he had spontaneously yelled "You bastard! Give him back you FAKE!"
Critic was silent for a while, and the virtual Critic lowered his face, his eyes half closing, looking above Critic, and his grin widening in smug satisfaction.
Eventually, Critic stepped up onto the stage and attempted to grab the Virutal Critic, but alas he was a hologram streamed from another server.
Critic threw up his arms in frustration. But he was a performer, he wasn't about to let the momentum of this moment die down.
"I am the real Virtual Critic. Not long ago, I was replaced! By this scornful cretin!" He yelled, pointing at his previous avatar dramatically.
There was a murmuring amongst the crowd.
"Didn't notice a difference..."
"Seems better if you ask me..."
"This is stretching it a tad..."
Critic needed a follow up, and as he continued speaking the imposter stood back and continued grinning as though in mockery.
"Haven't you noticed my- his, change in demeanor? Think of his wording, filled with much more swearing and other vile curses. Not that I was always above that, but I always used Critical vocabulary."
The crowd looked to each other and did not seem too convinced.
"W-Well... Ah! How about what he talks about? I would always try to look at the good in crap and the negative aspects of perfection. He simply spews hatred from his core! And catch phrases? Makes me want to puke! This is not what the Virtual Critic is about."
The crowd continued to murmur then one shouted out "Are you done yet? I got things to do."
The imposter, who had remained silent, then stepped forward and dramatically swept around, looking at the man with no face, and dwindling credibility.
"Well then, perhaps you would like to continue the review? Here is what you are reviewing." He said, throwing a glowing orb at Critic. Critic hurriedly placed it in his menu, to try and get a quick look, however his ID was invalid, now seemingly having a similar coding to a virus, and he was locked out of the game.
"That's a damn shame." Said the imposter, taking a glance at the audience. It was like he had the entire event staged, and even Critic's interruption was a rehearsed play, a part of the review.
"Well, if you were listening to my words so well perhaps you'd like to pick up. Unless you heard one swear word and nothing else, then ignored context?" He asked.
Critic nodded, and his imposter then bowed and gracefully stepped down into the audience, where he made a chair to sit on and patiently watched, like a parent watching their child's first nativity play in school.
Critic took a few moments to think. But he had nothing. He honestly had no idea what he was reviewing, and he normally worked off of a script. He felt verbal bile form in his throat but he restrained himself, instead whispering a curse to himself as he realised that he had been outdone.
The Virtual Critic made a slow crap then stepped back up onto the stage.
"Well, looks like you were merely delusional after all. Weather I am an imposter or not, the notion of which is preposterous, it is clear as to who is better for the mantle of the Virtual Critic. Now... what did you say your name was again?" Asked the Critic as he looked into Critic's missing face.
"... Nobody, just Critic." He responded.
"You are unworthy of the name." Said the Virtual Critic before clicking his fingers and carrying on with his review.
Critic felt himself slowly fade as he saw the relieved faces of the audience. Some clapped, and most quickly began cheering as the sick words continued to spew out of his imposter's mouth, as he pranced about the staged and laughed dramatically. Every movement planned, choreographed, a stage performer worthy of the name.
The image became still and smaller and Critic was yanked away, into infinite darkness which consumed him. He became a part of it, as he fell through limbo and into something closer to a living death. He felt the pit from where the viruses dwelled, the depths of a hackers computer, where they resided before they were released onto the net. Critic thought he was going to be reprogrammed, he would loose himself, identity and all. And then he imagined the Virtual Critic, mowing through him and his mindless brethren during a relaxing Sunday afternoon. Critic was in purgatory, and his very being was being dragged down to hell. At the very least, he would never have to suffer returning to the real world. He was likely dead already, perhaps, a cold corpse. He couldn't access his menu, or go anywhere.
Critic had been floating around in space for what felt like eternity until suddenly he saw a light. Critic reached out for it, and even though he didn't seem to move, his burning desire caused it to come closer, somehow.
"Is this... a dream?" He wondered. But he still felt like he had before, and he still had no menu. This was real, as real as it can be in a virtual environment.
"Then this... is my second chance..." Critic thought as the light touched him, causing his vision to become enveloped in a clam white.
Critic awoke on a beach, and heard gentle waves beat against his body. He felt them against his body. He got up, slowly and groggily, and looked out towards the ocean.
As he calmed himself and pondered over events, the unfairness and the tragedy, he saw something rise out from the ocean.
Dripping wet, larger than life, and dramatic, he saw words "Welcome to the world of Yggdrasil Online!"
"How can people like this game? I've seen better worlds made by the bacteria in my socks."
He went on and on, and Critic quickly stopped listening, hearing only shouting. This was what his cherished persona had come.
Suddenly, all eyes had turned to him, and everyone slowly became silent.
Critic looked around, then realised something.
"So, whats this about me being a fake?" Said the Virtual Critic, his calm demeanor immediately returning.
Critic looked around, and tried to form words. No one could see him emoting, however, as he had no facial features. He actually looked intimidating to the masses, based on how they looked at him, as though he was an alien race intruding upon their harmless fun.
It was then Critic realised that, out of the blue, he had spontaneously yelled "You bastard! Give him back you FAKE!"
Critic was silent for a while, and the virtual Critic lowered his face, his eyes half closing, looking above Critic, and his grin widening in smug satisfaction.
Eventually, Critic stepped up onto the stage and attempted to grab the Virutal Critic, but alas he was a hologram streamed from another server.
Critic threw up his arms in frustration. But he was a performer, he wasn't about to let the momentum of this moment die down.
"I am the real Virtual Critic. Not long ago, I was replaced! By this scornful cretin!" He yelled, pointing at his previous avatar dramatically.
There was a murmuring amongst the crowd.
"Didn't notice a difference..."
"Seems better if you ask me..."
"This is stretching it a tad..."
Critic needed a follow up, and as he continued speaking the imposter stood back and continued grinning as though in mockery.
"Haven't you noticed my- his, change in demeanor? Think of his wording, filled with much more swearing and other vile curses. Not that I was always above that, but I always used Critical vocabulary."
The crowd looked to each other and did not seem too convinced.
"W-Well... Ah! How about what he talks about? I would always try to look at the good in crap and the negative aspects of perfection. He simply spews hatred from his core! And catch phrases? Makes me want to puke! This is not what the Virtual Critic is about."
The crowd continued to murmur then one shouted out "Are you done yet? I got things to do."
The imposter, who had remained silent, then stepped forward and dramatically swept around, looking at the man with no face, and dwindling credibility.
"Well then, perhaps you would like to continue the review? Here is what you are reviewing." He said, throwing a glowing orb at Critic. Critic hurriedly placed it in his menu, to try and get a quick look, however his ID was invalid, now seemingly having a similar coding to a virus, and he was locked out of the game.
"That's a damn shame." Said the imposter, taking a glance at the audience. It was like he had the entire event staged, and even Critic's interruption was a rehearsed play, a part of the review.
"Well, if you were listening to my words so well perhaps you'd like to pick up. Unless you heard one swear word and nothing else, then ignored context?" He asked.
Critic nodded, and his imposter then bowed and gracefully stepped down into the audience, where he made a chair to sit on and patiently watched, like a parent watching their child's first nativity play in school.
Critic took a few moments to think. But he had nothing. He honestly had no idea what he was reviewing, and he normally worked off of a script. He felt verbal bile form in his throat but he restrained himself, instead whispering a curse to himself as he realised that he had been outdone.
The Virtual Critic made a slow crap then stepped back up onto the stage.
"Well, looks like you were merely delusional after all. Weather I am an imposter or not, the notion of which is preposterous, it is clear as to who is better for the mantle of the Virtual Critic. Now... what did you say your name was again?" Asked the Critic as he looked into Critic's missing face.
"... Nobody, just Critic." He responded.
"You are unworthy of the name." Said the Virtual Critic before clicking his fingers and carrying on with his review.
Critic felt himself slowly fade as he saw the relieved faces of the audience. Some clapped, and most quickly began cheering as the sick words continued to spew out of his imposter's mouth, as he pranced about the staged and laughed dramatically. Every movement planned, choreographed, a stage performer worthy of the name.
The image became still and smaller and Critic was yanked away, into infinite darkness which consumed him. He became a part of it, as he fell through limbo and into something closer to a living death. He felt the pit from where the viruses dwelled, the depths of a hackers computer, where they resided before they were released onto the net. Critic thought he was going to be reprogrammed, he would loose himself, identity and all. And then he imagined the Virtual Critic, mowing through him and his mindless brethren during a relaxing Sunday afternoon. Critic was in purgatory, and his very being was being dragged down to hell. At the very least, he would never have to suffer returning to the real world. He was likely dead already, perhaps, a cold corpse. He couldn't access his menu, or go anywhere.
Critic had been floating around in space for what felt like eternity until suddenly he saw a light. Critic reached out for it, and even though he didn't seem to move, his burning desire caused it to come closer, somehow.
"Is this... a dream?" He wondered. But he still felt like he had before, and he still had no menu. This was real, as real as it can be in a virtual environment.
"Then this... is my second chance..." Critic thought as the light touched him, causing his vision to become enveloped in a clam white.
Critic awoke on a beach, and heard gentle waves beat against his body. He felt them against his body. He got up, slowly and groggily, and looked out towards the ocean.
As he calmed himself and pondered over events, the unfairness and the tragedy, he saw something rise out from the ocean.
Dripping wet, larger than life, and dramatic, he saw words "Welcome to the world of Yggdrasil Online!"
