Elise

[Deleted]

Short story. I mentioned it in the daily spam thread and I decided to write it for why the heck not? Seemed like it would be a bad idea to make it an RP, considering theres only one supernatural thing IN this. (Ok, way more than one)
Can you guess what it is? ^

Warning, may or may not contain explicit content, I haven't decided yet, regardless it wont be anything that will make people think this is some kind of pornography, weather I like it or not.
Also, will take the religion known as 'Christianity' humorously by making God somewhat of a *Likeable* comic relief character, if you are offended by- TOO LATE ITS STARTING!

Hermes came flying to the gates of heaven.
He rang the doorbell repeatedly, until an angel came to respond to him.
"What is it this time Hermes? Hades demanding Jehovah supply more torture pits? Or maybe Zeus wants some new batteries for his lightning bolts?" Said the angel.
"No, the greek gods held a party yesterday and Jehovah was supposed to attend as a guest of honer. He didn't attend. So... Zeus sent him a letter." Explained Hermes.
"Ok, go on through." Said the angel.
Jehovah was sitting on his throne, polishing his nails.
"Hermes my boy! What brings you here!" He boomed in his majesty, chucking away the file and giving Hermes a manly bear hug.
"Zeus sent a letter." Said Hermes.
"Oh, hows he doing? I hope those Titans haven't been acting up..." Jehovah took the letter and read through it carefully.
"Dear Jehovah.
I held a party yesterday and you were sent an invitation. I have sent Hermes to ask why you missed such a mountainous (Get it? I live on a giant mountain) Occasion.
Best wishes, Zeus.
P.S The titans got board and decided to eat each other in the pit centuries ago. Remember?
P.SS Its true, your incredibly predictable (:"
Jehovah looked sad and angry at himself.
"Oh no! I was helping that guy stargaze for 24 hours! I completely forgot! Stupid deity, stupid!" Jehovah faced palmed.
"Well, maybe you need something to record your day to day life?" Suggested Hermes.
"Good thinking! Now, what could I use to record my day to day life in an easy manner that can be easily altered, added too, can be seen quickly, and even a mortal can understand..." Mumbled Jehovah.
"A cale-"
"Quiet you fool! I'm thinking! A... a... memory! Of course, a memory!" Yelled Jehovah.
"That always fails you my almighty, try this!" Said Hermes, holding out a calendar.
"Whats this thing?" He asked.
"A cal-en-der. Its exactly what your looking for!" Said Hermes.
"Of course! I gave mortals the idea to use it in the first place doi!" Said Jehovah as he flicked through.
"Thanks, your dismissed Hermes." Said Jehovah.
Hermes left.
"Ok... so theres the pray here, tea party with Satan, my daily check on heaven, stroll around..." Jehovah marked the calendar until it was overflowing with his tight schedule as the lord of creation and heaven.

The next week.

"Heeeeeeeeeeey!" Called Hermes as he chucked a letter at Jehovah.
"Party at Olympus. Dont forget!" Called Hermes, leaving.
"I swear they have a party every single week..." Mumbled Jehovah as he opened the letter.
"Dear Jehovah.
PARTY AT MY PLACE! (Bring Jesus, he makes great wine, and I need new batteries for my lightning bolts)
P.S: Yes, we have parties all day long, and we only invite you once a week. Still predictable"
"Ok, better write that down on my new- where did I put it again?" Mumbled Jehovah as he turned heaven inside out looking for his calendar.

Two days later.

"... You lost your calendar didn't you?" Said Hermes as he walked back into Jehovah's palace once again.
"... Zeus had another party right?" Said Jehovah.
Hermes nodded.
Jehovah faced palmed, then got thinking.
"I need a calendar that I cant loose. One that I can find... easily." He mumbled.
"I know! I'll use a mortal!" He yelled as he went outside to the balcony.
"But mortals live a world apart from us, their, well, mortal so you'll have to replace it constantly and furthermore you never check the mortal realm anyway so your even more likely to-" Began Hermes.
"Quiet fool! I will imbue a mortal with my power, and what better calendar than a human mind? Those things are awesome! I should know, I designed them myself. That person will, like, flash rapidly whenever theres an event and... uhhh... Oh! We'll share a psychic connection, so, whenever something happens, I'll know about it weather I like it or not! And I'll come up with the rest as I go along, just like when I made the universe. And just like the universe and intelligent life forms, nothing can possibly go wrong!"
Hermes had already left, shaking his head.
"Enie menie miney mo... A whatever, I'll just close my eyes and point anywhere, zippidy zappidy zoop!" Jehovah's closed his eyes, looked away, and pointed downwards, and at random a ray of light extended from his fingers, it descnded down and down, until it came to shine on a newborn baby girl.

"God must be smiling on us, to let us bathe in such warm light as our beautiful little angel is born." Said the child's father.
"Lets name her... Elise." Said the mother.
"Sounds good."

And so is the beginning of Elise- the human calendar.

[Deleted]

(Theres now a talk thread)

16 years later. England. Specific location? (spin wheel of locations...) London!

"Morning class. a new girl will be moving into your class today. Her name is Elise. Be nice to her, although you will be moving to college next year so I should stop treating you like kids... anyway, she's been moving around a lot for most of her life but she's coming to settle here in London." Said the teacher with a voice like a tumble dryer. That hums really loudly, and with a lisp.
Allan wasn't particularly interested in Elise.
"I'm not even going to talk to her next year... bloody hell, she could have moved a few years ago? Jeez, I got GCSE's to study for and... HELLOOOOO." He said to himself, then stared wide eyed at the girl who had just stepped in.
A girl, who was wearing the school uniform, with (It just has to be! I cant imagine her any other way!) straight green hair that went down the length of her back, past her short skirt. She had blue eyes like starlight, and a good figure.
"Are women like that even legal nowadays?" Said Allan, gawking.
"Nothing special..." Mumbled some of the other boys around him.
"Tehehe... all the more for me! This is perfect! You have your makeup wearing pretenders I got the real deal!" He was in a daydream.
"Good morning everyone!" Said Elise, waving and winking at no one, but at the same time everyone.
"Her voice is like... chocolate heaven... who would have thought that a voice could taste so nice... I'm making no sense Teehee!" Allan was practically drunk.
"You can sit..." Said the teacher.
"HERE! HERE!" Shouted Allan.
"Dude, uncool man I sit here!" Yelled his friend next to him.
"Aaron, A teddy bear named-" Began Allan.
"UNCOOL! TOTALLY UNCOOL!" Yelled Aaron, then he got out of seat and moved tables, leaving one empty seat.
"... There." Mumbled the teacher, Elise walked over briskly and sat next to Allan, where Aaron had been sitting.
"She smells like... the smell of flowers blooming in the midnight breeze!" Said Allan as he quietly fainted on the table.
...
"WAKE UP!"
An hour later, Aaron had been woken up.
"Wow, how'd you sleep without getting caught? Anyway, I'm Elise, pleased to meet you. Anyway, wanna go somewhere after school?" She asked him.
Allan got up, groggy, then jumped up.
"Yo- you mean a date?" He asked excitedly.
"Yes, a da-te, I like you!" She said as the bell rung, then she grabbed his hand and led him out of the classroom door, barging past the other students.

Near ice cream truck. Unimportant street corner.

"Thanks!" Said Allan as he paid for both ice creams. Elise had got a large ice cream, several chocolate and vanilla cones stacked on top of each other, and loads of chocolate wafers.
"How do you stay so thin? Wait, more importantly, why is your hair green? That CANNOT be dye." Said Allan as he instinctively reached out and felt it.
"Like it? I was born with it. Anyway, I exercise a lot." She explained as she finished her ice cream in just a few gulps and had already begun draggin Allan away.
"You in a rush or something?" Asked Allan as he struggled to keep up, but enjoyed holding her hand.
"Yeeees, I have such a tightly packed schedule!" Said Elise sarcastically as she kicked open the gates to her house and led Allan inside.
"Is this your place?" He asked.
"Yes. My parents are dead." She explained.
"You live here alone? Oh, you poor... perfect, perfect thing!" Blurted Allan.
"Oh, your so cute." She said, pinching his cheeks. She went into the kitchen.
"Tea or coffe?" She asked.
"Tea..." Said Allan as he went into the lounge area and sat down on one of the sofas.
He looked around.
A photo frame of her parents was on the mantle piece, otherwise her other belongings hadn't been unpacked.
"Cute as a kid. Musta been... 9?" Estimated Allan.
"10. Thats the last recorded photo of them, before they died." Said Elise, walking in. She had taken her tie off.
"Well... I'm not sure what to say..." Said Allan as he looked down at his feet.
The kettle was still boiling, so Elise was about ready to get up.
"Go up to my room. Its the only room with a bed in it." She said as she got up and went into the kitchen.
Allan did as he was told and went up, and sat down on the bed with a black duvet.
Elise walked in with a tray, with two teas.
She put it down and then took her white cup and sat down next to Allan.
Alan was uncomfortable, Elise was not what he had expected. She was better.
"So-" Allan tried to bring up conversation, but then Elise had silenced him by kissing him.
She drew back.
"I said I liked you, now-" She began but then suddenly she was enveloped in a bright light, covering her entire body.
It ended almost as quickly as it had began, and she was on the floor, panting.
"Dammit, I was hoping to get somewhere before that blasted thing kicked in..." She mumbled.
She got up, and squiggles, like an old, dead language with a dead alphabet written by someone with terrible handwriting covered her entire body, squiggly lines everywhere.
"Are you ok?" Said Allan, moving over to her to see what they were.
She slapped him away violently then grabbed a gun from the floorboards, and pointed it at him.
"Dont blame me, I was about to give you the time of your life. Now, its time to die, now that you've seen me for what I am." She said, she had a steely cold glare, the opposite of what she just was a moment ago.
Allan gulped.
"Januray 11th. 2013. Today I'm scheduled to go down to hell for the monthly board meeting. Satan has a problem with malfunctioning torture devices. I need to negotiate a budget to make a brand new set of shiny tools for him to use to torture sinners." How delightful for you, son of lust, brother of greed." Said Elise in a strange voice, then she fired the silenced pistol.
She put it back and cleaned up the mess, stripping him of all his cloths, burning them, then at the dead of night she dragged the boddy to the nearby thames with a suicide note, and pushed the corpse in.
"Great, now where am I going to find another poor sucker to dupe? Its only a matter of time before they realise the calendar girl is in london..." She mumbled when she got back, and decided to take a shower to temporarily wipe off the writing on her body, at least until the light next shined.

[Deleted]

The next day, same place, same characters.

No one else talked to Elise, she was new, weird, people found the green hair a turn off, and after she had been so attentive to Allan the previous day everyone had suspicions that she drove him to the point of suicide.
"At this rate I wont have enough money to move onto the next town... Dammit, why did that Allan kid have to die?" She said to herself.
She went round a corner at break time where she was alone, and checked her chest, where the date, time, year- everything pertaining to time was permanently etched.
"12th. Uhh..." She took her left shoe off and checked her foot where she kept important events God had scheduled, just in case.
"15th Jan. Going down to the church in london to listen to prayers. Will have to be careful, lest my presence cause the calendar to go crazy again. Not fun. Better ask Zeus if he'll come down and fire a few lightning bolts to create a distraction. Scratch that, terrible idea. Posiden does better distractions. Getting off topic, but I will continue elsewhere..." She said.
"15th... so that means, thats my deadline. I have to be well away from London before then." She said to herself. She put everything back on, and headed back to class as break ended.

In english, her English teacher was blabbing on about shakespeare or something.
Elise wrote down notes and did a test.
The english teacher came over, and he marked it.
"Well done! Good work, you'll do fine in English." He praised.
She saw her advantage.
"Really, oh thank you, Sir!" She said, emphasising sir in a non sarcastic manner and leaning forward slightly so that the teacher could see down her top.
"Uh... no- no problem. I'll send a letter home to your parents." He said, turning away.
"I dont have any parents anymore..." Said Elise sadly, leaning back, twiddling her hair, and trying to repress a smirk. Too easy.
"Oh, thats terrible!" He said, walking back towards her.
"Well, I have to live all by my lonesome now sir, I'm funded by my uncle but hes too busy to actually come and keep me company..." Said Elise, drifting off. She looked at the teacher expectantly.
"I... Oh, why not, if you want, I can come around this evening." He said, throwing his arms out.
"Are you sure, surely a young man, like you sir who's been working so hard all day deserves a little rest rather than keeping a poor little orphan girl company..." Said Elise.
That sealed it.

Later, you know where.

Elise heard knocking at the door, and who else was it than the english teacher.
"Oh, I wasn't expecting you to come..." She lied, letting him in.
She had already began boiling the kettle, and she brought in a tray and they sat in the living room and discussed English work, and Elise lied through her teeth in regards to the manner of how her parents died.
"A car crash Both of them. They died within 10 seconds, 10 excruuuciating seconds, said the autopsy man." Said Elise.
"Thats terrible!" Said the english teacher, unsure what to do.
Elise decided he needed a push.
"Well, since then I've been living off my uncle's money. Its been hard, buying the food, cleaning, tea, everything really, but I'm finally able to move around more, and I think I'm getting back on my feet. I've never told anyone this before." She lied in more ways than one.
"Well, I can transfer some money to your account if you want..." Said the english teacher.
"You'd do that for me? Oh, your the best!" Said Elise, glomping him.
"Ahahaha... yeah, you can get off..." He said.
"Oh, sorry." Said Elise, getting off. No use in sealing the deal, she was beginning to wish she hadn't killed Allan when she did now.
And with that, after another cup, the english teacher left, successfully duped. When he transfered the paltry sum they always do, Elise would be able to track the source of the transfer and use the virus she home-brewed on her computer to steal the teachers pin. Not the best, but she would be set for a few weeks extra until his bankaccount was drained dry, right under his nose.

[Deleted]

Three days later. January 15th.

"What a wonderful day! I think the calendar's learning not to be near me, oooooooh boy, that day was a ruckus." Said Jehovah.
A priest was praying to him, and Jehovah was there, but no one could see him, hear him, or any of that other stuff, they only had their 6th sense.
"These priests are always so... boring. They should spice things up a little." Jehovah cast a light ray down on the alter.
"Shezam, its a sign from god. Now, my-" Said Jehovah as he saw some people burst in through the doors.
"Anyone seen a girl with green hair around here?" Asked the man, who had several other guys dressed in brown suits and flat caps behind him. The supposed leader who had spoke wore a black suit and a top hat.
"How dare you interrupt a service!" Yelled the Vickar, very angry.
"Yeah yeah, put them up!" Yelled the leader as his goons held up pistols. The church was held hostage.
"Hey, thats no fair, yo! goofy hat!" Yelled Jehovah behind the gangster, but of course the gangster couldn't here him.
After a while, the gangsters left, concluding the girl they were looking for had already left.
"Well, who has green hair besides my calendar anyway? Were they... oh dear, no wonder shes been moving around so much, I better go-" Began Jehovah, then a light shined.

"January 15th. Straight after the ceremony I have to go and make Cupid some love arrows. Cupid will get annoyed if I make them do the opposite again, so I have to concentrate and make them just right." Said Elise, as the light died down.
She looked around the plane she was on.
"Oh dear..." She said as she got up and headed to the toilet.
Several members of the cabin crew had already begun to close in on her.
"Miss-" Began a woman, but Elise dashed past and locked the bathroom door.
She washed up, and got out her flashlight application on her mobile.
She excited, to see several of the cabin crew everywhere.
"What was all that?" Said a stern looking one, his arms folded and eyebrows raised.
"Skin rash. And I got a text, so I dashed to the bathroom to wash up and answered it, it flares up all the time, its really embarrassing..." Explained Elise, mixing truth with lies.
"And what were you mumbling about, cupid?" Asked the man again.
"Oh, dont mind me, its an anime I watch...?" Said Elise, gulping at her terrible answer.
"Not those bloody things! Ok, thats fine, bye." Said the man, leaving.
Elise went to sit down again, and fell asleep.
The young boy her age sitting next to her smile.
"That was no skin rash or anime ramblings..." He said as he continued reading his newspaper.

[Deleted]

January 16th, Tokyo, Elise's new home.

"That was easy, I'm just glad it didn't flare up again.
Now, I'm going to need to learn japanese or find someone here who knows english, perhaps I can use a teacher again... why did Uncle have to send me here this time?" She mumbled as she slumped on the bed in the empty bedroom.
She took her socks off and looked at her feet for the next important event.
"Japanese complaining that their prayers aren't being answered. Dont they pray to Izanagi and the others? I haven't seen them in ages, I wonder what they are getting up too nowadays... anyway, seems they're busy so I'll be filling in for them by wondering around Tokyo on the... first of February. Cant wait..." She read.
"Wow, I got just over a week. I better find someone with a lot of money to dupe, I'll give myself a challenge... she said to herself, and chuckled quietly.